The bedroom is still full of boxes. The Kid's room is done, but I lost the schematics to his train set and have to figure out how to put it together by memory. Hah.
I'm alone this week. I have a couple hours to kill before my dentist appointment and I am so completely, utterly alone all I can stand to do is talk to you, my readers, and watch movies. I should clean up the Kid's room, vacuum and empty the trash, then close the door for the next seven days. I should start emptying boxes. I have an empty house and it won't disturb anyone to run the washer and dryer, drop boxes, and go in and out of the basement...but I can't bring myself to do it. What is wrong with me?
Why can't I get myself together enough to clean my room? Why did it take a disconnect notice for me to figure out I needed to make a payment on my phone? Why does it take everything I have to get a shower, face people, go to the grocery store? I want to scream at all the people watching me buy a single TV dinner, one roll of paper towels, one roll of toilet paper, "Yes! It's me! Single lady! No kid in my cart! No piles of wipes and diapers! Take a good long look! We go to grocery stores too!"
Maybe I'm being a little over-sensitive, but those stares are there. Watching someone my age, in mom clothes with a mom haircut and no child. No wedding ring. Are they piteous or jealous? Do I have freedom they long for, in the night while children scream and hubby blanks out in front of the telly? Or do they think, "Thank God I found him. Without him I would be her."
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People are most likely looking at your meal choices and thinking, "I wonder if I'd like that brand?" or "can my household go another week without more paper towels?"
ReplyDeleteIt takes a lot of effort to put things to rights. I'm not going through any of your upheval and I can't get myself to clean, cook or do laundry most of the time. You're fine.
I love your blog - keep writing!!
ReplyDeleteAnd if it's men who are staring, then it's because they're checking you out. If it's women, then I have no clue why, but you may as well assume it's positive, that they like your jeans and are trying to figure out what brand they are. You're doing great!