The Intimidation Factor

I have a paper due on Tuesday. I thought I had a topic and I thought I would be able to jam it out, like in the good old days, but I'm beginning to think I must have made those days up because I am struggling. It's pretty bad when I am looking around my room thinking of something else I can clean rather than write. I also have to do my nails. And clean my truck. Oh, and fly to Chile and help with the disaster relief.

I sat here for over two hours last night trying to write an outline. All I accomplished was a burning sensation that my topic was just awful. The pits. What the hell is wrong with me? I used to be able to write this kind of paper in between classes and parties. 30 minutes, max. Three pages, bang it out, a few editorial changes, turn it in for the A...or at the very least, a B.

I've been trying to figure out my major malfunction all day and this is what I came up with. I'm intimidated. I am so preoccupied with writing a grad level paper that I can't focus on the paper itself. I have to come to terms with the fact that I could do really well on this paper, or I could do terribly. This is the first of many and there is no way to know what I'm doing right or wrong until I get this first paper graded. I really hate that. I need to know what to expect. I don't want to take a bad score just because I don't have a feel for things yet. This sucks.

To hell with it. I'm just going to get it written and do the best I can.